Ep. 36 - Information Overload: How Excessive Research and Social Media Keeps You in a Loop of Comparison, Self Doubt, and Convincing Your Inner Critic You're Not Good Enough

In today's episode of the Blissfully Bold podcast, I share my journey through difficult moments of self criticism and negative self talk, reflecting on past episodes focused on perfectionism and self-acceptance. I also tackle issues like distorted thoughts, information overload, and imposter syndrome. Join me as we explore strategies to overcome comparisonitis and mental health impact from the constant barrage of advice and social media pressures. Tune in for actionable tips and encouragement to help you realize you're doing your best and navigate life's chaos with more peace and happiness.

00:00 Introduction and Self-Compassion
01:16 Meet Your Host: Gabby Ramelli
02:21 Support the Show: Buy Me a Coffee
03:00 Listener Gratitude and Reviews
05:13 Today's Topic: Information Overload and Mental Health
07:40 Dealing with Perfectionism and Self-Compassion
11:50 Social Media Detox and Mental Health
13:06 Conclusion and Therapy Offer
15:49 Bonus: Microjournaling Challenge

Listen to these episodes to go deeper in today's conversation:

• Ep. 03 - Digital Detox: The Power of Disconnecting and Protecting Your Peace in the Social Media Age with J. Allen Cross
• Ep. 33 - Ditch the Pressure for Perfectionism: Reframing Failures with Grace and Reflection
• Ep. 34 - How Self-Compassion Cultivates Radical Self Acceptance: Overcome Guilt, Set Boundaries, and Live Boldly and Authentically

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Get 2 FREE weeks of therapy with Better Help: If you’re struggling with self-doubt or other mental health challenges and would love extra support, I highly recommend checking out Better Help. I’ve recently started therapy through their platform, and they offer great virtual resources to help you challenge negative thought patterns. You can use my link to get started for 2 free weeks, that's just over $150 off your first month.

https://www.betterhelp.com/rpc/fcc9b214dad0f33b-5-01?utm_term=ref_v2_dd

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Transcript

 There's a lot of hard moments in this work  and  I'm just here to say that  you'll get through it. I'm also telling that to myself,  you'll get through it.  And what's the most important thing to have is a little bit of that self compassion that I talk about in episode 34. So go listen to those episodes.

They're really great companion episodes to this one.  But when you start having those distorted thoughts of, you know, you're always a fuck up or I never get things right or I'll never Get this down, whether that be like learning to build an email list or learning to crochet or learning to sew, learning to do anything new that you have never done. 

And when you fail, because you will. It's inevitable. You're not going to be good at the things that you've never done before.  That's in any area of your life, whether it be parenting, or picking up a new hobby, or craft, or a new business.  So,  those distorted thoughts are a slippery slope into you not feeling like you're enough.

Hi, my name is Gabby Ramelli and I'm your Boundary Advocate to lead you to a more peaceful life. Four years ago, I was stuck in a deep depression, a fog covered lake in the dead of night, with no idea of where to turn to get back to me or my own needs. After seeking professional guidance to lead me out of the darkness, advocating for myself, my boundaries, and my overall well being has become a daily practice of self care.

Here on the Blissfully Bold podcast, we'll chat about balancing life's chaos within ourselves and in everyday spaces, pumping the brakes on people pleasing and understanding our personal needs to create the peace and happiness we so crave and deserve. Join me every Wednesday for a new episode and dare to be Blissfully Bold.

Welcome to the Blissfully Bold podcast.  Hey friend! I appreciate you coming back every week. If you are loving the show, please go in show support by rating, leaving a review and sharing with a friend. And now there is a new way that you can support the show. You can. Buy me a coffee. It's similar to Patreon in that it helps fund creator efforts to continue bringing value to you.

You know, that means releasing this show every week. So it would mean so much to me if you could go and visit my page  and buy me a coffee. Visit buymeacoffee.  com forward slash blissfullybold. com  Hey friend, welcome back to the Blissfully Bold podcast. Thank you for showing up every week. Um, the past couple of episodes I have started something new.

Where I'm opening up the show with giving gratitude and thanks to you for listening and reviewing the show. So,  this week, our review comes from Buy Me a Coffee. If you haven't checked me out over there, go and Give it a look around  The link is in the show notes and you can buy me a coffee You can buy me a few or you can have a poke around at What's going on over there?

I think I have like a poster too Um, but anyway, here's a review from Susan on Buy Me a Coffee. She says, Thanks for sharing so many great nuggets of info. The last two podcasts helped me as I've been down recently.  Keep up the awesome work.  Thanks so much, Susan. I really appreciate that. And for the listener, um, the last couple episodes that she was talking about, I went back and looked at the dates.

Um, she was talking about episode 33, about perfectionism and episode 34 on self-compassion and acceptance. So if you haven't heard those, uh, go and give them a listen, especially if you struggle with. Perfectionism and feeling like you have to get everything right  and for times when you're a little hard on yourself.

I mean, we all have those moments. Right? I think we're our own worst critics.  So, that's what these past few episodes have been on.  It's just showing yourself more self compassion. And I do have a daily planner for the unapologetic mom that will help with that. It is a planner as well as a tool for self care and reflection.

I have a section there for self compassion. And also a section for microjournaling. If you want to know more about microjournaling, just go visit me at gavi. ramely on Instagram and we can have a good chat. All right. Well, let's go ahead and get into today's episode. Today we're going to be talking about information overload,  imposter syndrome, and comparisonitis, and some distorted thoughts that can come from those things, as well as feeling Like, you're not enough and the impact that  all of that information and the comparison is having on your mental health.

Now, I just wanted to give a disclaimer. I am not a mental health professional. I do not have a license for practicing any kind of therapy or anything like that. My show is just for information purposes and for entertainment.  So, now that that's over with,  let's go ahead and get into  today's topic.  So, information overload.

We are in an age where we have so much information just available to us.  Everywhere we turn, whether it's from the unsolicited advice from the mom at the park, or the  grandma at the supermarket, or whoever it is, in person, as well as  Social media, right? We all follow big accounts that are telling us how we should be a more gentle parent, or how we should stop yelling at our kids, or how we should build a business, or how we should do this and should do that, and it's just, it makes your fucking head spin,  and when you continue to listen to everyone else,  You start not to be able to hear yourself. 

And that is where self doubt  and the feeling of not being enough comes from.  So, I would say  that it's important for us to, yes, have the information there available as research. And for you to practice discernment. And figure out if what the advice is giving you. Or not just advice, but like scientific research, like if that is going to fit into your life and also not trying to be perfect at it.

That goes back to episode 33 talking about perfectionism.  And I feel like that's a lot of where our kind of  mental instability starts to come from. And when I say mental instability, I Unstability? Instability.  Whatever.  Where it comes from, I think, is when we start comparing ourselves. And that moves me into imposter syndrome and comparisonitis. 

Like, we keep  trying to be perfect and attain these standards.  That, you know, we're, one, we're learning. You're not going to learn this shit overnight. You have to give yourself time  to be able to learn the different methods, the different techniques of what is working and what is not, especially when it comes to things like gentle parenting.

Like, I try really hard to be a gentle parent and that is honestly stressful.  Because I do struggle with perfectionism.  And the moments when I fly off the handle, I am really hard on myself.  And I know I'm not the only one. I'm sure you are hard on yourself about all kinds of things, whether it be your job, whether you actually being a parent who is gentle parenting, or just a parent who's trying to parent in general, whatever that may look like for you. 

Or if you're building a business  one way and this guru is telling you you're doing it wrong,  like, you start to compare and question yourself, right?  And then that's what turns into distorted thought.  And how you're always a fuck up like I said that  this week I was so upset this week  about so many different things, um,  and there was just this one little moment, um,  where Someone was upset with me, and, you know, they hung up on me,  and  when I talked to my husband, I was telling him about the situation, and he was like, well, why, why, like, what happened?

I was like, I don't know, I'm just a fuck up, I guess.  He's like, you know, you're just really hard on yourself. And I said, you know, I know,  I am, and I'm trying really hard not to be.  And  that It's fucking hard.  There's a lot of hard moments in this work.  And  I'm just here to say that  you'll get through it.

I'm also telling that to myself.  You'll get through it.  And what's the most important thing to have is a little bit of that self compassion that I talk about in episode 34. So go listen to those episodes. They're really great companion episodes to this one.  But, when you start having those distorted thoughts of, you know, you're always a fuck up or I never get things right or I'll never get this down, whether that be like learning to build an email list or learning to crochet or learning to sew, learning to do anything new that you have never done. 

And when you fail, because you will, it's inevitable, you're not going to be good at the things that you've never done before.  That's in any area of your life, whether it be parenting, or picking up a new hobby, or craft, or a new business.  So,  those distorted thoughts are a slippery slope into you not feeling like you're enough, and like you're unworthy.

And That has a really big impact on the state of your mental health.  And as I mentioned earlier, a lot of that does come from social media, so I would say limit what you are scrolling through.  Value, like, only certain accounts. Don't listen to everyone. I've actually just recently started going through and either unfollowing accounts or muting them, so I don't have to see. 

What they're posting and it's not from a place of like hating on them or feeling like  they're not valuable. It's just like it really is starting to affect  my mental health. And so I know, like I said, I'm not alone in this.  I'm sure you're there too,  about how these things can start to affect you. And if you want to Listen more on social media and kind of detoxing.

You can go and listen to Episode 3, Digital Detox, with author J. Allen Cross. That was a really great conversation. Especially when we start getting into the conversation of parasocial relationships. Like, that was a really good conversation. So, go check out episode 3.  Um, I think that's about it for me.

This is a short and sweet episode. Just telling you that you are trying your best.  Stop scrolling and comparing yourself.  And stop trying to use all the information that you're learning, whether that be from scientific research or social media gurus.  Stop getting all that information and trying to turn it into this perfect,  like, new action or perfect new habit or perfect new whatever. 

Stop trying to turn it into perfectionism.  That's what's making you feel like you're not enough.  So we just have to stop and discern  and really think about are we doing too much?  And if you are,  like, take a step back.  Go and  Have a walk out in nature. Go touch grass. Go take a shower. Go paint your nails.

Have a facial. Whatever it is that you do, that you love, that makes you feel happy and warm and fuzzy, go and do that.  Just at least do it once a week, or  anytime that you feel like you're just starting to be in a funk.  Like, I'm gonna be honest, I've been in a funk lately, and I am working so hard to come out of it. 

And it's work.  It's definitely work. It's not going to be easy, and you can't just expect  for you to wake up the next day after a facial and be like, oh, I'm fixed. It doesn't work that way. I wish it did, but it doesn't.  Anyway, I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer. Just wanted to give you a little bit of realism there in this  Really hard time of mine. 

Alright, well, on that note, if you are feeling like you are in a mental slump like I am, you can get two free weeks of therapy when you join BetterHelp using my link, and I'm gonna link that in the show notes. That's saving you a little over 150 your first month. So, why not go and get yourself some free therapy, and check out if you like BetterHelp or not.

And again, that link is going to be in the show notes for you. Alright friend, well I will talk to you next week. Toodles! So something I've been working on and I'm super excited about is the 5 day microjournaling challenge audio series. Um. I did a challenge back in November, and this is going to be a version of that, but it's going to be available to you anytime.

So you don't have to wait for me to put on a live event, you can just go and be like, Oh, I feel like I really want to start a journaling practice, but I don't know where to start, I don't have time for that. Like I'm a busy mom, I just got tons of shit to do all the time. Well, go and do this five day microjournaling challenge.

I know that you're probably thinking like, Journaling? I just said I don't have time. But literally, this like, builds it into your day. Someone was talking to me the other day about building white space into their schedule to have time to think and just kind of unwind, decompress. Well, microjournaling is building that white space into your day.

Every day,  you just literally write down whatever it is that you're thinking. You don't even have to think about what you want to write. You just write what you're thinking,  which  sounds easy  and it is easy. Like whenever you get a thought, instead of going to your notes app in your phone, just write it down on the daily planner sheet and you can download that.

I have the link in the show notes for you. Thanks again for listening and visit buy me a coffee at  buymeacoffee. com forward slash blissfully bold podcast for another way to support the show. And I will also link that in the show notes.