Ep. 34 - How Self-Compassion Cultivates Radical Self Acceptance: Overcome Guilt, Set Boundaries, and Live Boldly and Authentically

Let's dive into this week’s topic—self-compassion, self-love, and self-acceptance. I touched on this last week in Episode 33 (head over to give it a listen), but it’s too important not to dig deeper. Because here’s the truth: self-compassion isn’t just about saying nice things to yourself. It’s about rewiring your inner dialogue, replacing shame with grace, and giving yourself permission to make mistakes without spiraling into guilt and self-doubt.

If you’ve ever caught yourself in the cycle of negative self-talk—beating yourself up for losing patience, feeling guilty for taking a break, or thinking you should “have it all together”—this episode is for you. That voice inside your head? It was shaped long ago, and if it’s more critical than kind, it’s time to shift that narrative. Practicing self-compassion is what helps you show up as the best version of yourself by giving you the courage to advocate for yourself and set boundaries.

00:00 Introduction to the Blissfully Bold Podcast
02:03 Listener Appreciation and Reviews
05:32 Deep Dive into Self-Compassion
07:57 Practical Tips for Self-Love and Acceptance
19:57 Setting Boundaries and Living Authentically
20:48 Upcoming Resources and Conclusion

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Transcript

That actually gives you the courage to make the changes,  to make the mistakes in changing. Am I going to hold myself to the standard of like, I'm never going to procrastinate ever again? Like, that's impossible. It's a learning curve, right? It's those, those habits that I was talking about earlier.  You're building this for yourself.

And then you have, like, you're going to make mistakes in trying.  To,  you know, change yourself  and when you do make those mistakes, you have to forgive yourself.  Like you can't beat yourself up about it. That's where the self compassion comes in, forgiving yourself.  Like, oh, yeah, I did make that mistake.  I did get distracted by social media doom scrolling. 

Because it's a habit that I've had for a long time and I'm learning  To not do that anymore.  I'm giving myself grace,  right?  And then  because you can recognize that you can choose to do differently Hi, my name is Gabby Ramelli and I'm your boundary advocate to lead you to a more peaceful life Four years ago, I was stuck in a deep depression, a fog covered lake in the dead of night, with no idea of where to turn to get back to me or my own needs.

After seeking professional guidance to lead me out of the darkness, advocating for myself, my boundaries, and my overall well being has become a daily practice of self love. Care here on the blissfully bold podcast, we'll chat about balancing life's chaos within ourselves and in everyday spaces, pumping the brakes on people, pleasing and understanding our personal needs to create the peace and happiness we so crave and deserve.

Join me every Wednesday for a new episode and dare to be blissfully bold. Welcome to the blissfully bold podcast. Hey friend, you're back. I appreciate you coming back every week. If you are loving the show, please Go and show support by rating, leaving a review, and sharing with a friend. And now there is a new way that you can support the show.

You can buy me a coffee. It's similar to Patreon in that it helps fund creator efforts to continue bringing value to you. You know, that means releasing this show every week. So it would mean so much to me if you could go and visit my page. And buy me a coffee, visit buymeacoffee. com forward slash  blissfullyboldpodcast.

Hey friend, welcome back to the Blissfully Bold Podcast. Thank you so much for Coming back every week.  I actually want to start kicking off the shows in a new way to show that gratitude to you, um, by reading some reviews that we've had come in. I found this website called Raphonic.  And there are reviews that I've never even seen because they were on different platforms.

So I thought that was pretty cool and I thought it was nice to have like a whole list there. Um, so yeah, I'm going to go ahead and pick one and then each week I'll read, uh, reviews that come in. So if you haven't already rated and reviewed. This show and you've been listening for a while then I would love if you could do that So we can help share the love and you'll get a shout out.

This review is from podcast addict  for like the forum or platform there, from someone named K. E. B.  And they said, a delightful and engaging podcast, a host with an enthusiastically positive approach to real important issues. I was entertained and informed with methods to help my personal growth and well being in just a few short minutes. 

I love that. Thank you so much. It's Like, I'm just really glad that this platform that I have, that I can help you  just  feel seen and know that, you know, we all go through similar  situations or feelings of, you know, either having anxiety or feeling like we can't be ourselves. Or feeling like we're too afraid to ruffle some feathers and make someone upset and fall back into our people pleasing tendencies  because, you know, we want to be liked. 

There's just a lot there to unpack that keeps us kind of  not living up to the big dreams and visions and standards that we want to hold for ourselves. So thank you, KEB. Um, and next week I'll read another review. I have quite a few here. I kind of was surprised, um, at how many were written already. So again, thank you for listening to the show and coming back every week.

It's been super great. So, this week on the podcast, we are talking about self compassion, some self love, and self acceptance. I know that I had started to touch on  self compassion last week, um, but I just wanted to dig into it more because it's more than just telling yourself nice things. It's like building up  the cheerleader inside and the character that you are. 

It creates our inner voice.  And if you don't have that, then it gives us blame and guilt and shame because we're not  being kind to ourselves.  And also embracing it, like, fosters loving acceptance for ourselves, like what some people would call radical self acceptance, right? So  I'm just gonna dig into that a bit more in this episode.

Um, All right, so I'm gonna go back to creating the inner voice when We can talk to ourselves in a way  that Is loving in kind and I know Maybe it sounds a little like uh, okay self love like it's beat to death on social media and Everywhere you turn it's like self care self care self care And it's Because it's important. 

It's what makes us happy, like what can create happiness for us  sustainably.  And if you've suffered from like depression, whether it's like cyclical or chronic or  whatever it is,  having the inner self talk  Already like established it in a good place.  That'll help and I'm not gonna say that it's gonna cure Clinical depression like you should definitely go seek help if that is something that you do You know, deal with.

And I believe it was episode 23, um, where I talked with my cousin Lisa about depression, both hers and mine, that we've experienced. So, if you are experiencing depression or, like, bouts of blues, then go check out that episode.  But heading back over here,  the self compassion and the self love is going to create that inner voice to give you the courage to  speak up for yourself  and it's going to give you the courage to accept yourself  for who you are because you're giving yourself grace. 

You're giving yourself the,  I guess if you want to take it like a pass, it's giving you the hall pass  to, You know, learn from those mistakes and to say like, Hey, it's okay.  Like, it's okay that I messed up,  it's okay that I made a mistake, I'm learning.  And when you don't have that inner self talk, that's when you start blaming yourself and then making yourself feel bad, and then you go into this spiral of shame,  right?

It's like, oh man, I fucked up, like how could I do that, like how, what was I thinking? And a lot of this language goes back to like when you were a kid.  Where I don't know if you were ever scolded or anything It's like if you dropped your your drink at the dinner table or something It's like ah, like what were you doing?

Like I told you this like I told you not to Like have the drink so close to the edge of the table. Like what were you thinking?  Like that voice becomes your inner voice, right?  And I think that's where we learned a lot of it. Now, I'm not gonna sit here and like blame our parents for,  like,  you know, talking to us in some of this language.

They just didn't have a lot of the research that we have now.  And they tried the best that they could.  But at the same time, like, now we know, like, having The nicer, kinder words. It will help us deal with the adversity that comes our way. And help us be able to accept. Like, that it's a learning experience, instead of beating ourselves up because we made a mistake and couldn't be perfect.

Which, that goes into perfectionism, which we were talking about last week, so if you didn't listen to episode 33, go back and listen to that. And like I said earlier, it fosters the loving acceptance of ourself, right? When you can accept that you are human and you make mistakes and you have common emotions, like, that you are fluid, then I think that, you know, again, that gives you grace  to know like, hey,  I made a mistake and it's fine.

So more things that you can do with that self acceptance that you're going to get from the self love and the self compassion that you're showing yourself is that you'll be able to release parts of yourself that you no longer align with, that you can control,  and that you can change for yourself, like habits or behaviors. 

That are your habits or behaviors and emotions and how you handle them  like when you can accept yourself for who you are  and maybe there's parts of You that you're not so happy with  Like you have to be able to look at yourself have that self reflection and see them  and accept like oh Yeah, this is what I'm doing instead of being in denial  and when you can accept it you can make a choice You can decide Is this something that I still want to be?

Like for me, procrastination has been  a really big part of who  I've been being. Like since, I don't know, middle school, it's always been a thing for me. And that's just not  who I want to be anymore. Like I don't want to consider myself a procrastinator. Like I'm someone who is  making intentional effort to be  more decisive and for me, like, by accepting that, yeah, I have procrastination tendencies and recognizing that about myself, I can change my story  and I can change that habit. 

And that actually gives you the courage to make the changes.  to make the mistakes in changing. Am I going to hold myself to the standard of, like, I'm never going to procrastinate ever again? Like, that's impossible. It's a learning curve. Right? It's those, those habits that I was talking about earlier. 

You're building this for yourself. And then, you ha like, you're gonna make mistakes in trying  to  You know, change yourself.  And when you do make those mistakes, you have to forgive yourself.  Like, you can't beat yourself up about it. That's where the self compassion comes in. Forgiving yourself.  Like, oh, yeah, I did make that mistake. 

I did get distracted by social media doom scrolling  because it's a habit that I've had for a long time and I'm learning  to not do that anymore.  I'm giving myself grace,  right?  And then,  because you can recognize that, you can choose to do differently.  You can choose to be intentional, there's that word again,  with your time.

Just like  in my example of procrastination and getting distracted by doomscrolling, like, I can choose to, like, set a timer. For me to be on social media, or I can choose to only look at my messages and my comments or my interactions, my engagement from my audience  and respond and not look at other people's content and just consume, consume, consume.

I was actually just having a conversation with a friend  about  Like, overconsumption of content, it's overwhelming and it often, like, clutters your mind. I'm kind, I'm kind of going off on a tangent here, but I, I really do feel like the overconsumption of content, like,  really  harms or can harm our self talk.

Like, it gets in our head about imposter syndrome,  about we're not good enough  because other people are doing better.  And what do you think that does to your internal dialogue?  It can be good. Like, think about how you talk to yourself after you've, like, been doomscrolling for a while.  Like, what are you feeling? 

Are you feeling like you aren't good enough? Are you feeling like you should be trying harder, like you should do this and should do that? Are you shooting yourself?  Another side tangent. I'm going off on side tangents today, but I feel like they're still relevant. Um, I just recently started therapy with BetterHelp.

And as part of that subscription, I am able to attend virtual classes and also do group sessions. One of the classes that I did, it was talking about, like, distorting thoughts that we have, and a lot of them are with those should statements. So I thought that was really interesting. If you want to learn more, about it, go and look up Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT, or you can go and sign up for BetterHelp.

I'm actually gonna drop a link in the show notes for you to go and do that, and it'll also help give me credits towards Getting more therapy. So thank you. If you go and do that, you can help me out  But anyway back to  what I was talking about. So  in the like last thing I think that would be so beneficial to having this self acceptance This self love and the compassion that you're giving yourself is that like not only are you building that courage to make mistakes?

And to forgive yourself and to learn from them, but by doing that you are allowing yourself to live authentically and boldly because you have the courage, because you'll be trusting yourself more.  Because you won't be like second guessing like, oh my gosh, did I do this wrong? Am I gonna mess up? Like you the fear of fucking up  Will not be so heavy, right?

so you're gonna trust yourself more  and when you trust yourself more you'd be more likely to advocate for your needs and say what you want boldly and unapologetically  Because, like, you believe in yourself from telling yourself all of these good things  by having that grace, by being nice to yourself. 

Like, you can overlook  saying the hard things to people, like, yeah, it's going to be hard to say them anyway, to have conversations with people  that, you know, maybe it's something you don't want to talk about, like if you're a people pleaser and  I don't know, I always go back to the work scenario because that was me for so long  in having last minute projects thrown on me. 

And me not speaking up for myself and then me getting resent like having resentment  And so like in that  example Like when you were advocating for your needs like instead of being scared to talk for yourself  And to stand up for yourself  You'll have the courage because you'll have self compassion for yourself  Like if you think about it, it's like well,  i'm really scared to have this conversation With my boss. 

It makes me feel like i'm not a good employee  And I  am not a team player,  or whatever it is that you're feeling. I feel like most high achievers that that's the common thought.  And instead of telling yourself that, you can say, Yeah, I am a team player at this job. And I do care about my position or my job or my, my  role in contributing to the success of this team. 

But also,  I'm focused on this project and that also deserves my attention and all of my energy to make sure that I am doing the job that I'm proud of.  Do you see how that kind of changes it from like, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna get fired. Oh my gosh, like, my boss is gonna hate me. Oh my gosh, whatever the fear is.

into something that's like, I'm trying to benefit both myself, like, and do a good job and the team.  Like, I can only do well when I'm not overwhelmed and feeling like I'm putting out a fire.  Alright, and so that kind of brings me to setting the boundaries. Like, once you've understood that for yourself, you can start to set those boundaries and let your supervisor know. 

Typically I need a, like, a little bit of, like, heads up for bigger projects. And I understand  that not all projects can have a heads up, like, sometimes shit hits the fan, right? It's gotta be dealt with.  Like that, I get it. I get that.  And at the same time, it's like, okay, I can't internally panic because someone else is internally panicking or externally panicking at me. 

Like you can't take on their emotions or their energy.  You have to have that boundary for yourself, right?  So if you want to cultivate more loving self acceptance and live boldly as your authentic self, unapologetically, then go download your copy of the Daily Planner for the Unapologetic Mom. Currently it's branded as Overthinking High Achiever. 

Um, there are some tweaks that are coming. Um, if you go and download the overthinker planner once I  tweak the  Unapologetic mom planner then you will automatically get that update So just go sign up for it. I'm gonna have that link in the show notes and when You do, I'll also be updating you with when I will be releasing an audio series.

I did this series back in November. It was the 5 Day Microjournaling Challenge.  And  I am creating that as an audio series. I'm currently working on it. So when you get the planner, you'll also receive like notices of when the audio series is gonna be coming out. And I'm so excited for it because I'm gonna show you how to one, create a daily journaling practice and it's not as scary as you think it might be because it's a micro journaling challenge. 

And with micro journaling. It's when you just take a  minute, like one minute, maybe, throughout your day  as you're feeling something come up, like a strong emotion,  or if you're feeling  really upset about something, like something that is just, you're working throughout your day, you know, you're at your desk, you're working on that fire project that they just threw in your lap, and Maybe that pisses you off.

Maybe that overwhelms you. Maybe you're upset because you have to now work through lunch to get this shit done.  Who knows what it is? Write it down.  You don't have to think about, like, reflect on it. Just, like, let it out on the page like word vomit. Basically,  I want stream of consciousness.  And I'll go deeper into microjournaling in the audio series,  um, but that's just kind of a little brief there.

So if you're interested in that, make sure you get signed up. Um, I, again, will drop the link in the show notes for you.  And yeah. If you are loving the show, please go rate and review. Again, I will read reviews, um, starting At the opening of the show from now on until I have no more reviews But I feel like I have a good little collection and if you guys keep on rating and reviewing and helping Grow the show then you know, this will just be continued segment.

But yeah I hope that you have a great week. Happy first week of February, and go and show yourself some radical self love and acceptance. And until then, I will see you next week. Toodles! Thanks again for listening and visit Buy Me A Coffee at buymeacoffee. com forward slash blissfullyboldpodcast  for another way to support the show.

And I will also link that in the show notes.