Ep. 26 - The Affordable Benefits of a HERO House Manager: How to Transform Family Life & Outsource Household Tasks with Brenda Noon Schmidt

In this episode of the Blissfully Bold Podcast, I chat with Brenda Noon Schmidt about the transformative benefits of hiring a Hero House Manager. We get into how outside help, often perceived as a luxury, can actually become an affordable necessity to maintain household harmony and efficiency. 
Brenda breaks down the misconceptions around outsourcing household tasks, emphasizing the importance of aligning values when hiring and how these new team members can become like family. 
Practical tips are provided on finding the right help, budgeting, and integrating these helpers into your family dynamics for greater peace of mind.

00:00 Intro
03:43 Meet Brenda Noon Schmidt: The Kick-Ass Modern Mom
08:25 The Role of a Hero House Manager
15:50 The Importance of Community and Support
28:39 The Benefits of Hiring a House Manager
28:51 Success Stories: From House Manager to Career Growth
29:57 Personal Experiences with House Managers
32:37 Affordability and Budgeting for a House Manager
33:01 Finding the Right House Manager for Your Family
35:02 Cost-Effective Solutions and Real-Life Examples
40:11 The Growing Popularity of House Managers
42:21 Aligning Values with Your House Manager
46:45 How to Hire and Work with a House Manager
50:18 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Brenda Noon Schmidt is THE Kickass Modern Mom, who MULTIPLIES TIME for Entrepreneurial families, so they can soar in business while also spending MORE quality time together as families. She helps YOU find your HERO House Manager, so you can truly “Live Those Somedays Today!”

This super fun, high energy, pioneer gal is also the host of the Kickass Modern Mom Podcast and leads the Kickass Modern Mom Community, a free group for Entrepreneurial Families on the Skool app that is “A Village of Support for Families.” 

It is her mission to meaningfully enhance the FAMILY experience for our generation and future generations!

Connect with Brenda:

• LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/kickassmodernmom

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Transcript

What I remind people is that if your mother in law or your own mom lived next door to you. And she was coming over every day to help you fold laundry, help you tidy up the kitchen, help you get these things done around the house, go run errands for you, pick up your kids, whatever. It would be a no brainer.

You'd be like, yeah, that sounds amazing. I wish I had that kind of support. I wish I had that kind of village in place. But for some reason, then whenever we bring somebody else in that isn't related to us, we immediately feel like guilty for doing it. We feel like, Oh, is it going to make my kids entitled?

Like, is it okay for me to hand off this stuff? And what. It's like, well, how is it different if it's your mother in law doing it or a really type a organized college kid that can come and you're like helping them get through school and they do something that really lights them up and they get to be part of your team.

And so you can look at it as like, yeah, they're just a part of your village that wasn't originally related to you, but they truly become like family as they work with your family. And um, another, another part of it is like, people will be like, well, I don't want my kids to be entitled brats. I want them to learn how to do their own chores.

Um, so I don't want this, like, you know, I don't want help coming in and doing all this stuff for my kids. And I say, well, again, if it was your own mother in law and they were coming in and helping your kids fold their clothes and put their clothes away and working together with them and collaborating, like, wouldn't that feel okay?

Yeah. Yeah. Cause they learned from, they learned from their grandma. Well, yeah. Like imagine this is like an older cousin that's coming in. And, and they just didn't start out related to you, but they're going to turn into your family, but it's like an older cousin coming in and they're going to collaborate with your kids and they're going to help teach your kids.

We think as parents, we're the only ones who can teach our kids and then the teachers at school and that's about it, but no, there's like so many cool people out there that share our beliefs, share our values, and they can come in and be part of our village and truly help teach your kids. Also. And I don't know.

About you, but like my kids often will learn better from someone else besides me, like it can be the exact same information that I say, but somebody else says it and they're like, mom, I just learned this amazing thing from the babysitter or from the house manager or, you know, whatever, like. Um, and they receive it better.

So, um, it just makes a really great environment for kids to be able to learn great life skills from other people that come in and support us.  

Hi, my name is Gabby Ramelli and I'm your boundary advocate to lead you to a more peaceful life. Four years ago, I was stuck in a deep depression, a fog covered lake in the dead of night with no idea of where to turn to get back to me or my own needs.

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Today on the show, we have Brenda Noon Smith. She is the kick ass modern mom who multiplies time for entrepreneurial families so they can soar in business while also spending more quality time together as families. She's also the host of the kick ass modern mom podcast and leads the kick ass modern mom community a free group for entrepreneurial families on the school app you spell it s k o o l and that is a village of support for families.

So today on the show we're going to be chatting about how she helps you find your hero house manager so you can truly live those some days today and we are going to get into it. Real deep into what a hero house manager is So I hope that you enjoy this episode and that you get some really good takeaways and that you like go running to look for your own Hero house manager because it sounds really fucking amazing and I want one.

Hi brenda. Welcome to the show Thank you so much for joining me today Um, and I like to kick off the episode Uh with a really like kind of fun thing um, what makes you kick ass like what is your superpower and Why are you so amazing at being a mompreneur who can like juggle? Both the home and the business, because it tends to be a lot 

for people. 

Yeah, for sure. Uh, well, thank you so much for having me. First of all, I'm so excited to be having this conversation. It's so fun.  Um, I, I don't know. I think my superpower would be, I absolutely love connecting people to other people. I love, um, collaborating with people to solve problems. Like that's my jam.

And so I guess that's how I even got into household outsourcing because I just love to collaborate with other people who have strengths. Um, and, but yeah, in the business world too, I just love hearing what people are up to and being like, Oh my gosh, I know a person that you need to talk to and connecting them.

So I love doing that. Um, in my own household, I think one of my superpowers is that I'm a really fast starter. So as soon as I get an idea for a project or overhauling something, I take immediate, fast action. My weakness though, is that I don't always finish all the things that I start, which is again, while, why I have learned to build a team around me within my own household, just like a business would have so that I have those loop closers to close all the loops that I open, um, for me.

And so that's, that's their strength. So, um, yeah, really just like surrounding myself with really good people.  

That's awesome. And I love that you said that you're like a fast starter because I find that people are often.  Like slow to start because they're afraid of like the outcome or that they might make a mistake or things like that So they just kind of take a little while to get going So I love that you said that you're a fast starter now.

We do need help sometimes to close it right and that's okay I think yeah, 

I used to go down on myself I used to get so down and be like man I never finish anything I start and then I took the colby a assessment and I realized like oh no This is actually like A strength that I start so quickly and it's somebody else's strength that they Are like the slower starter, but they finish things like each of those is a strength and we don't usually have both.

Like we, we sit in one of those two spaces. Yeah. And so sometimes it's helpful to like,  look at the, look at what the pros can tell you about. And that, that assessment is actually used in business. It's like not used in the home, but I use it to hire house managers to be like, here, are you a loop opener or a loop closer?

Because we want you to compliment the person that you're working with.  

Yeah, actually, so you had posted a real a while ago, and it was, I thought it was really interesting about, um, learning like a trait or quality about hiring, which we can get into later, but I just want to say it now before I forget because I will. 

Um, but you were talking about like asking someone like, Untangling these necklaces,  and I thought that was a really cool, like, out of the box way to ask someone to problem solve.  

Yeah, that's, that's like my go to question that I will ask people. It tells you a lot about a person, like, they have a visceral response to either, like, hate it or love it whenever you ask questions like, How do you feel about tangled necklaces? 

Um, yeah, my husband like wants to barf in his mouth. Um, you know, like that is not his jam. He's not going to be the persistent problem solver that sticks with it till the end, like he's not that person. So, um, but yeah, like finding the people who love untangling necklaces are the exact type of people that is good to have you helping finish projects in your house. 

Awesome. Cool. Well, so as we've already mentioned, like being a mom is hard work. And if you throw in like working full time, whether that be in your own business or being in a nine to five like corporate job, that it's likely that Mamas are feeling pretty stretched thin just because they have so many tasks going on like they have Kid pick up and drop off and they have meal prep and they have laundry and they have decluttering of the house Like the list just goes on and on and on right and so you help moms Discover the benefits of a hero house manager, right? 

so can you tell us a little bit more about what that is and what is a hero house manager and You  Sounds amazing. Just by the name,  

who doesn't, who doesn't love a hero? Everyone needs a hero in their house. Um, a hero house manager. I like to call it, it's pretty much like a wife for the wife. So it's like your wingman, your wing woman to like pick up all the scraps, um, and kind of proactively problem solve and foresee issues.

And also the things that you start that you need to finish. And so it's like one step ahead of you and one step behind you.  It's a person who can come in your house. It's almost like a VA, but for your house, but in person. And so it's like a home assistant who can. Do all the laundry. They can prep, um, some of the cooking, they can pick up your kids from school.

If you need them to, um, do the school runs, they can go run errands, drop off the returns, they can organize closets, really just like all the same roles that a mom does, just a mom cloning herself. So that she can have some extra hands and not have the tension with her partner of like, I need you to help do this kind of stuff more and they're like, I already do enough.

It's just, you just bring in the third person and it eliminates a lot of that tension. And, and it's so cool because sometimes people will kind of hesitate at the idea of bringing a stranger quote unquote stranger into their house. To be doing these kind of roles, but what I remind people is that if your mother in law or your own mom lived next door to you and she was coming over every day to help you fold laundry, help you tidy up the kitchen, help you get these things done around the house, go run errands for you, pick up your kids, whatever, it would be a no brainer.

You'd be like, Yeah, that sounds amazing. I wish I had that kind of support. I wish I had that kind of village in place. But for some reason, then whenever we bring somebody else in that isn't related to us, we immediately feel like guilty for doing it. We feel like, oh, is it going to make my kids entitled?

Like, is it okay for me to hand off this stuff? And what it's like, well, how is it different if it's your mother in law doing it or a really type A organized college kid? That can come and you're like helping them get through school And they do something that really lights them up and they get to be part of your team And so you can look at it as like, yeah They're just a part of your village that wasn't originally related to you But they truly become like family as they work with your family And, um, another, another part of it is like, people will be like, well, I don't want my kids to be entitled brats.

I want them to learn how to do their own chores. Um, so I don't want this, like, you know, I don't want help coming in and doing all this stuff for my kids. And I say, well, again, if it was your own mother in law and they were coming in and helping your kids. Fold their clothes and put their clothes away and working together with them and collaborating.

Like, wouldn't that feel okay? Yeah. Yeah. Cause they learned from, they learned from their grandma. Well, yeah. Like, imagine this is like an older cousin, right? That's coming in and, and they just didn't start out related to you, but they're going to turn into your family, but it's like an older cousin coming in and they're going to collaborate with your kids and they're going to help teach your kids.

We think as parents, we're the only ones who can teach our kids and then the teachers at school, and that's about it. But no, there's like so many cool people out there that share our beliefs, share our values, and they can come in and be part of our village and truly help teach your kids also. And I don't know about you, but like my kids often will learn better from someone else besides me.

Like it can be the exact same information that I say, but somebody else says it. And they're like, mom, I just learned this amazing thing from the babysitter or from the house manager or, you know, whatever, like. They receive it better. So, um, it just makes a really great environment for kids to be able to learn great life skills from other people that come in and support us. 

Yeah, for sure. And something you said that I really like is that, you know, you're saying maybe you're supporting like this college kid in like, you know, contributing to their school or their life expenses or whatever, like that actually kind of takes off the guilt a little bit of like, oh my gosh, I'm like.

Sourcing out basically my entire house or maybe it's not your entire house Maybe it's just a couple things here and there but I do feel that people tend to have guilt because it's like oh, I should take care of my home and Not outsource that but when you think about it in terms of like I'm helping support someone else and maybe their dream By, you know contributing to their college fund or just contributing to whatever life expenses that they have Like that actually feels like a pretty good trade off You 

Yeah, I mean in in yield in times and in some other cultures Uh, we used to trade our lodging for the help And so maybe it was the older cousin and they move in with you for a while To help out in this way while they're also doing these other things.

So you would trade the lodging for the help Well now we're not trading our lodging for the help. We're giving them the money to go pay for their own lodging And then they're giving us the help. And so it's just a little like further one step removed, but that's really what it is. We're just trading something of ours for something that they can provide us in return.

Um, and so it does, it feels, it feels hard and it feels taboo and icky to be paying somebody to do things that as a mom, you feel like, Oh, I should be doing this. But I tell everybody, it's like, they are not mom jobs. They are just jobs. And anyone or anything can do them. I'm like, and like a lot of stuff can be given to the robots.

Like there's so many things in our households that we are not using the robots enough and we could really make our lives simpler and less complex. If we just use robots more, um, people get, people get kind of weirded out by all the robot stuff, but truly they make your life so much easier. It's like Siri can be your best personal assistant if you actually use all the features of it. 

I love that. I love that. Can you give another like example of using a robot? Because I'm thinking of like a Roomba or something similar to that and you mentioned Siri. I know that people really love Alexa,  

right? So some of my absolute favorite things that are gonna save a lot of time is like ordering your groceries from Instacart.

Um, using shipped, you know, for target doing the target pickup orders. Instead of actually going in, you're going to save money and time by not having to go into the store because everything's so beautiful. And Joanna gains just makes me want to redo your house every time. And so, um, yeah, so doing a drive up order instead, or doing, having somebody drop it off at your front door.

Um, because then it's like, I could be doing a podcast like this while someone's dropping off my groceries for me instead of me having to go run that errand. And so that's a big save. It's just like starting to delegate to all those kind of outsourcing things. And again, the people who are doing those delivery orders, like Peter is one of my preferred shoppers.

And I gotten to know Peter because, and it's like, he like, he's like a grandpa and he gets to just like pick up some odd jobs and make some extra money. And so this is like his retirement and he's having a way better retirement because he gets to go pick up the yogurts for me. And so if he was my neighbor, again, I would probably be trading something neighborly with him to have him help me out in this way.

But Peter is, doesn't live on my street, but I could still trade my money for him helping me out in this way. And so it's taking it back to the whole village mentality is like, it takes a village to raise a family. Well, now our villagers are just connected to us through all these technology aspects, which is beautiful and amazing because we get to meet such cool people out there that are doing cool things in the world that can help us and we can help them. 

One of my number one things that I tell a lot of families is make sure you're using a shared Google calendar. If you're not already doing that, like we have our own calendars. And so maybe our husband has his calendar and we have our calendar. And then there's maybe a calendar that we put the kids stuff on, but that like sometimes goes on one calendar or the other, but having a shared calendar that like all parties can add stuff to and edit and having kind of a clear system where it's like, Okay.

I write, you know, like for us, we put a question mark until it's confirmed. And so we add it to the calendar and then, you know, there's like a question mark in there. As soon as we get more details, you know, somebody's texting you back and forth about a birthday party, whatever the text thread is. I just take the, the text and I copy and paste it right into the calendar under the notes section.

So that way all the details of that event are all in one spot. And so things like that, we can just start systemizing and automating a little bit more in our own household. So those are like my go to things that I tell everybody is like. You will relieve so much mental burden if you start using a shared Google calendar.

And even like a shared Google drive too,  for a lot of the documents that come from schools. It's like, just put them all in one spot. Um, and so digitizing things makes it so much easier because then if you're out and about and you think of something, you can just pull it up. And if it's in a Google drive, you could search by the, by like a word that's in there.

Um, so stuff like that.  

I love that. That is so like organized. You were talking about me being organized  on the call  

with your podcast. I am not that level of organization with my own podcast yet. 

We need a trade. Like I'll give you organization for the podcast. Yeah. And this is 

where 

I'll hold 

organization.

And for me, it's like, so my house manager right now, one of the tasks that I am about to have her start doing is like handing off a lot of my calendaring to her. Um, because my kids are starting to be those ages, they're 5. And so they're starting to be those ages where they're getting into theater and soccer and all these extra activities that are Like, like they can kind of half manage some of it themselves instead of when they're tiny and you're like running them everywhere.

Um, but there still needs to be a central communication point. And so that's one of the tasks actually, when my house manager arrives later today is I'm going to say, here is this printout with all the soccer games. Like I already have the soccer practices in the calendar, but I need all the games added with like where each one is at, cause we have to drive her around to all these different locations, so I'm going to be like, Hey, Put all this in a shared, um, Google calendar, put all the information that's on this paper in each of those entries, and then share it with both my husband and I, and then any new items that come in, I'm just going to forward to you and have you add them to it.

So, um, it's like creating the system and then handing it off to somebody else to have them, um, see it through and continue it for you. And like the pod, my podcast, I'm not that organized, which is exactly why I hired a podcast producer. So I could be like, Hey, like you do all the organization part. I just want to have fun conversations with people  

Yeah, yeah It's it's  I do my entire podcast like myself, but I actually, I really enjoy the process.

But like, I was thinking about like at one point, like maybe helping or offering a service for other people. And then now I'm just kind of like, I just want to, I want to love on my podcast. I want to love the podcasting process still, but no, I completely get it. Where like, one of the things I was thinking of was like, just hand it off.

And like, all you have to do is talk into a mic and record. And that's it. So I love that, that like, when you think about it as like a house manager, it's like, just look at the shared Google calendar and like, you can find your tasks there and, you know, beforehand, obviously you would talk about what the needs are.

Right. So like, let's get into that. Like how long have you had a house manager and kind of like, what was the story that like, finally you decided like, I really need some extra help. And like, what were you feeling? And how did you decide what tasks? Yeah, 

I mean,  so we've been an entrepreneur family for ever, like over two decades, my husband has had his own business, um, businesses.

Now there's multiple now, but his first business, he started when he was still in college. We met when we were in college. Um, as soon as he graduated, he just went all in on his business. Um, so we've just been entrepreneur couple and then entrepreneur family for a really long time. And what, what people who are entrepreneurs know is that the schedule is crazy.

Like you, you don't work at nine to five Monday through Friday. It's like all crazy hours. You're going to networking events, you're going to conferences. Um, all kinds of crazy schedules. So  I would find myself being the solo parent a lot of the time. And so the way, and I, and I didn't have family that could help me.

I didn't have a built in village. And so for, you know, like I was in these mom groups where everyone is just like. Coming together to rant and vent about like oh, I don't have enough support and there's nothing we can do about it And I refuse to accept that that was the case that there was nothing we could do about it And so I was like there's people who are successful at this like I'm gonna go seek them out and see what they're doing differently and so I had a few friends who were like just thriving in motherhood and I was like  What's your secrets? 

And they were hiring help. And so I was like, okay, like I need to hear help. And so we started with, um, we had a cleaning person, a cleaning lady that came for a really long time. Um, and that did provide a lot of relief, but, um, especially with kids now, one, especially like once there was like two kids, I just felt like I could never get ahead on the laundry.

And, um, I, I call it the laundry basket graveyards where it's like you put the clothes in the washer and like, most of the time you remember to switch them over to the dryer with, before they get mildew. And then if you don't, you gotta like rewash them a couple of times, but then you switch them over to the dryer and then they either stay in the dryer and people pull stuff out of the dryer, or they go into laundry baskets.

And then the next load goes in the next one. And then you have this like collection of all these laundry baskets full of all the laundry that needs to be folded and put away. And eventually the laundry room or wherever your machines are is too crowded. So those get put into the master bedroom. And so then you end up having all these laundry baskets and everyone keeps coming into my bedroom, um, to pull all their stuff out to wear every day until the baskets go down about like halfway.

And then you have to restart the process all over again. And so it felt like there was like these laundry basket graveyards in my bedroom in a place that I was supposed to be getting recharged every day. And a place of refuge for me. And instead, no matter what big wins in our businesses that we had had for the day, I walk into my bedroom in the evening and I feel confronted and I feel like a failure in my own house.

Because they're staring at me and their laundry's like, fold me, put me away.  And I'm like, I don't have time for you right now. Like, you're just gonna have to stay there. You are low priority laundry. And, but, but it just weighs on you. And you just start feeling like, okay, then there's laundry. And then you go in your kitchen and you can't even find a spoon to use because they're all dirty.

And then you go in your, uh, refrigerator and it's like science projects in there. And you're like, oh my gosh, I need to go through all this stuff and throw stuff away. And And as you keep going through your house, you feel like a failure everywhere you turn and nothing you're doing in your life elsewhere feels like you're as amazing and awesome as you thought you were five minutes ago, because now you feel like a failure in your own house.

And this is a place that's supposed to recharge us. This is a place that we're supposed to feel nurtured and comforted. And instead we're feeling just like confronted all the time. And And it did not used to be that way when people had their families living with them. And when they had their families close by, and they all lived in the same town.

And when everybody talked to their neighbors and, and so now it's awesome that we can talk on these screens with little boxes and I get to talk to you. I actually don't even know where you are. I'm in Tucson, Arizona, but how cool is this, is this right? That we get to have a relationship, but you cannot drop off a casserole at my house if I'm sick or my kid is sick.

And so we're more connected now through all these little screens in these little boxes, but we don't have this hands on deck support that we used to have because the connections that we used to have were also people who were physically present in our lives who could stop by our house and help us out with stuff.

Who, like, were having a really hard time. They can come and help us fold our laundry and talk to us. Well, now we can get the self care of these talks through these little screens, but we don't have those hands on deck to help us fold our laundry. And so we wonder, like, why am I not better at this? Like, how, why do I suck so much at my own house?

Well, it's because people used to have help. There has always been help. Nobody ever did it alone. And we've kind of like gradually changed our society to the point where we forget that that used to be the case. And we've just taken on more and more stuff in our own household. We can delegate to VAs virtually in our businesses.

We can like hand off, we can have like a fractional CMO and a fractional this, and we can hand off stuff in our businesses. We cannot outsource chopping of onions through a computer. Those are things that you still need actual people coming into your house to do. And that's where people are, have gotten further and further away from having community life within a household where there's other people besides just the parents and the kids.

And so having people come back in and hiring that help is how you get back to having that village of people. Support in your own house. And so for me, it was like,  I just felt like I was underwater all the time. And actually I was in between house managers recently. And I went back to that feeling all over again.

So like, I was like, okay, I'm just going to have to push a couple meetings. And I was so stressed that then I got sick and then my kids got chicken pox. And it was like the tumbleweed effect of everything, like raining down on me. And, and I was like, Holy cow. Like it makes you realize just how much. That kind of help means in a household, even after I've been doing it for so long now, I've had house managers for like five or six years and like, I have one month of no house manager and I fall right back into those same feelings that everyone else has.

The overwhelm underwater feeling like it comes right back to me too. So all the solutions of, of systemizing and robots and all that, it does not take the place of actual hands on deck of somebody folding laundry and putting it away for my kids, like nothing beats that. And so how I got into it is. Like we kind of just like gradually eased into it and i'm a big fan of dan martell and his book buy back your time He talks about this the same way him and renee They just kind of had some people that were helping them that they started layering on more stuff, too That's exactly what we did.

Also. Um, so I had um, the cleaning lady the long time cleaning lady I had Um when one of the kids was a baby, I was like  could I have you just stay a little extra to pay attention? Fold and put away the laundry basket graveyards. Like that's all I need. Like it's already going to be all washed. It's already gonna be all dried.

I just need help putting it away. Cause that's the part for me. That's the hardest part. And so she would stay and she would stay for like one hour or one and a half hours, depending on the week. Um, and she came every other week. So I had enough laundry for the kids for two weeks worth of clothes. And so I would wash and dry all that stuff the night before she came.

And then I would have all the laundry basket graveyards ready for her to fold and put away, and because she's not me with my mom's squirrel brain, I'm Where every time I had to go to put things away, then I'm like, Oh wait, I still have to go fill out that soccer form. And Oh wait, did I ever email that person back?

Oh, I have to call that mom about any like squirrel brain. And you like, it takes you all day on Saturday to put stuff away. Well, it would take her one hour to fold and put things away because she's in her zone of genius. Like that's her she's in her element. She's fast at it She doesn't get distracted by all the mom life stuff because it's not her house And so I paid her for one extra hour of work to solve that problem And it saved me like an entire weekend.

So like I paid for one hour I get a whole weekend back. And so I was like, wait a second. Where else can I do this? And so  Yeah, so worth it. And it's like at the same with like in our business, right? We we hire a va and maybe we hire them for five hours a week at first You We seriously get like 30 hours back.

Those five hours that we hand off is stuff that's taking us way longer to do, but they're fast at it. And so the same thing is like people that come into our house, they're fast at the stuff they do. Like they, they like put on music and they crank. It's like when we are our best self of cleaning and how fast we can, or if we're angry cleaning, right?

Like if we're like angry vacuuming and how fast we can do it, well, without being angry, they are that fast all the time. And so it's like, let them do it because it saves you way more time than the actual time it takes.  We had actually hired a girl to come and start cooking for us that had gotten referred from a friend And so she would come and do all the prep cooking for us And then she also would do dog sitting and then she would also do babysitting and she so we just kind of started layering on more And more things  She actually now works for my husband's company.

She's like running the sales and relationship management and so It's like, which is like a lot of people who we have collaborated with in one way have grown to these bigger roles for us, which is the beauty of it too. Um, sometimes I'm just supporting them through their college, um, schooling, but other times they actually are looking for long term work and moving into roles within our companies, which is really cool too.

Yeah.  So yeah, so that was our first one. We didn't even call her a house manager. She would call herself our governess,  , govern. And we would joke, we're like, we're gonna like build a little casita out back for you and, and like that can you just like live on site and just help us with everything? 'cause she was great.

She was just, she was just very organized and, and she got to like, understand the rhythms of our family to just know what we needed and just be like, oh, I did this for you. I noticed you left this here and I, you know, put it over here and did this. And, and she was amazing. And so, um. When she moved away she started working remotely for my husband's company and then we got another house manager um And she was with us for a couple years so we've had several now like most of them are college kids and Um, if they want to continue working with us, um, we find cool things to use their strengths and, um, if they, um,  you know, want to go and actually are one of our long time house managers, it was her dream job.

I always, um, there's like the. Who is it? Michael Kelly. I think who wrote the dream manager. I forget the author's name, but the dream manager book. We love that book. And so within my husband's companies and our companies, like we love finding out what are people's personal goals and helping them achieve their personal goals while also working for us in a professional way.

And so one of our long time house managers, her dream was to work for the Olympics. And, um, she was not an athlete, but she just was like obsessed with the Olympics ever since she was a little girl. So we were like using our connections to try and help her to someday get her dream job. And so this past summer, she left working with us to go do an internship with the Atlanta games.

And, um, she implemented in her internship, like Trello boards and shared Google drives and using Voxer and all the things that we use in our own household. She spread that to the intern team and they were like, Holy cow. You're like the best intern we've ever had. And they already offered her a position.

So the Atlanta games is a feeder, um, qualifying games that goes into the Olympics and several of the people who work there do work for the Olympics. So she will be working for the Olympics probably within the next year or two. Um, but yeah, so, and she's still, and she hasn't even graduated college yet. So, and she's using a lot of the skills that she gained from being a house manager in our house.

To use in that role to be managing teams and be a project manager. And so, um, it's just such a great opportunity for these people to build their resume within their own house while doing our laundry.  

For sure. I love that. And I really, like, deeply resonate with the whole laundry graveyard because,  yeah, like, my mom was living with us for a little while and, like, she would always see, like, my laundry basket and she's like,  like, let me fold those for you.

And so she would be the one who was, like, folding the laundry and, like, putting it away. And I'm like, I'm totally okay with throwing them in the washer, throwing them in the dryer. But when it comes to, like, folding and putting them away, I'm like, eh. I don't want to,  I don't, I don't have the energy for the willpower. 

And then what comes with that is like having the guilt or shame of like, why can't I just like put the laundry away? Like how hard is that? Right. And so I love that this is a solution, like an easy solution, right? To have someone like a teenager,  like, like we're going to talk about affordability here in a second.

Right. Because it sounds like a luxury, right. To have someone who can come in, it feels like luxury, but it is not. Yeah, I bet. 

Yeah. 

It does. Yeah. And so, so let's get into that. Like, how can we find. A house manager who, um, is affordable or what kind of things do. People need to look for to find a house manager one that fits within their budget or fits Whatever they're looking to delegate and also that would fit in with their family dynamic because not all families are created equal Right because some might value I think you had a real recently about Like the house manager  Valuing western medicine and you know, you're more of like the holistic approach.

So let's talk about that Like how do we source someone who is a fit for our family and yeah our budget? 

So I'll go to the budget part first because a lot of people as soon as they hear about house manager like that sounds amazing I'm gonna put that on my list for the future for someday and I'm like Okay, like actually you need it right now and here's how you probably already have it in your budget already And I tell people think back to when you were a kid and you would hear the ice cream truck truck going down the road It's like you hear the song and you're like, I want to ice cream They used to cost a dollar and so you don't have a dollar But what do you do you go like scrounging through the couch cushions looking for all the coins trying to find all the little coins Just scrapped together a dollar and by golly you Find a dollar because you want an ice cream because you get to go and enjoy this tasty treat.

You get to hang out with your friends in the neighborhood. The whole experience is something you value and you want to spend your money on. So by golly, you find the means to pay for it. And so in our adult life, we can do the same thing. We can look at like. There's people who they will be like I can't pay these bills and I can't pay for this and I can't pay for that But I am taking my kid to disneyland by golly for their birthday because they value it because they value Experiences and a certain lifestyle and so they will find a way to pay for vacations They will find a way to pay for disneyland if they even if they can't like put A whole tank of gas in their car and stuff like that.

They'll find a way for it to pay for the things they value. And so it's the same thing is like,  do you value the quality time with your family and your own sanity and your mental health, because if you do, then you have to pay to hand off some of this stuff And chances are you're already trying to solve the problem in a less efficient way with the exact same money.

And so as adults we can look for adult versions of couch cushion money, which is are you ordering DoorDash or takeout and how much is that costing you? Because chances are the amount you spend each week just on that is the amount you could be paying a house manager to have you help, like, chop up onions and prep the food and maybe even go get the groceries.

Or you have them Instacarted, they put them away and then they chop them up and help prep them for you and you eat healthy food. Or maybe you're ordering those like, delivery boxes of the food. Um, maybe if like some people will pay for like a laundry service to send it off and then it gets delivered, but it still is not getting put away.

We tried that for a little while and it would like still sit by our front door in those, back in those things. And I'm like,  yeah, I want the lady to stick around for an hour and go put it away for me. Like, I, like, can I like, like, on the side be like, hey Gertrude, Come on in my house, like, put it away from me, I'll pay you an extra 20 bucks.

Um, so,  so it's like, some of those things we're already paying to solve the problem. And we could take that exact same money to pay the college kid to do it a more thorough version. Or it might even be cheaper. Like, we have a personal chef now. Our personal chef is cheaper than all the money I used to spend on Chick fil A every week. 

It is mind blowing. It is so mind blowing. Cause like I go through the drive through and my kids always want extra sandwiches cause they eat them the next day for breakfast, which I don't know if anybody else's kids do that, but it's so funny,  but so we get all these extra sandwiches, so it's like 60 bucks every time I go through the drive through.

Yeah. 

And then I go through the drive through twice in one week, 120 bucks. Like I can outsource to somebody else and have healthy food. And so these are areas that it's like, where do we already spending our money on to try and solve a problem to make it like, we're trying to hit the easy button already.

And so there's actually this other easy button. That's a way better version that might even be cheaper. And then you can use the X money to go get your nails done. Like people are like, wait, what? I can have a house manager and get my nails done. Like money I'm already spending. It's not going to cost me extra money.

Yeah, exactly. And so, um, Like we'll talk actual numbers here. It will vary. And, and your audience is all over the place. It will vary depending on where you live,  what you're having them do. Um, you know, experience with all these things. It does vary just like every job we know. However, I will say that a house manager usually costs the going rate of a nanny in your area.

And this is like, not the like professional nanny lady that's been doing it for 30 years, but like the college kid nanny. So whatever you could pay a nanny for in your area. So for me in Tucson, Arizona, that's about 20, 25. 

Per hour 

that I can 

pay. And, um, and I, the next thing I'll tell people is that, um, you can have somebody come for 10 hours a week and you will notice a huge shift.

So multiply that time is 25, right? So like for 250 a week, is there stuff you're already spending 250 a week on to try and solve your problems? Yes, everybody is. And could you give that money to a college kid instead and have them solve your problems in a way better way that you're going to feel a lot more relief from.

The answer is yes, you could. And so it's like mind blowing for people who are there like, Oh my gosh, like I didn't realize it was that cheap. I thought it was going to be like hiring Mr. Belvedere for a hundred thousand dollars a year. And he's my butler. And like, I have to live in a mansion and live this completely different lifestyle to have a, no, you don't.

Anybody can have a house manager at any level. Um, like I talked about how we got a cleaning lady back when I first started hiring a cleaning lady, I had no money and I seriously used to put less. I would only put a half a tank of gas in my car. So that I could pay the cleaning lady because I valued that.

And it was good for me because it kept me out of trouble because if I didn't have gas in my car, I couldn't be going to the bars and going out with my friends and spending more money. So it made me actually save money by hiring my cleaning lady, because then I'm like not driving around using all this gas in my car.

And so I would just put less gas in my car. To have somebody help out around my house. And I was like in the roommate stage, like my husband and I were still dating. We had roommates that lived with us. This was like the roommate years. And we hired her because we wanted to stop arguing over whose messes were in the fridge.

And. Who was going to clean the bathrooms? And so we're like, all right, let's have somebody come in. We'll all split it. So we did. Um, and so we all, you know, put in a little bit of beer money, a little bit of gas tank money to hire help. Um, and so you could do it at any stage. You can do it. If you're a college kid, you can do it as a young mom.

You can do it. Emptiness or any stage that you're at, any budget that you're at. Um, there's amazing people out there. And here's the cool thing is.  Like we know VAs, right? Everybody knows VAs now. Everyone's like, Oh, you need help in your business? Get a VA. Here's my VA. Here's my VA. These people, I know these people.

Um, I remember 20 years ago when my husband was first hiring offshore help in his business. And it was the icky and taboo thing back then. It was like, how dare you hire people in other countries when there's people right in our own country that need work and blah, blah, blah. And Oh, you're only paying them how much, like what a cheat.

It's like, no, actually that's really valuable to them. It blesses them. It blesses us. We now know. Just how beneficial it is for the VAs and for us to employ these people. But 20 years ago, it was like a weird, icky, taboo feeling. Well, right now we are in the weird, icky, taboo feeling of hiring house managers, 

and there's 

not like a lot of people haven't been talking about it.

And the people who do have them don't really share about it. And so we're in that amazing era that you can find really amazing help at nanny wages. Whereas just like with the VAs, right? Like you used to be able to get like a 4 VA. Now they're all like 15 or 20 an hour. Um, for some of the more advanced help, like building funnels and running podcasts and stuff like that, but it used to be a different wage.

Well, now they've like really, really gotten a lot of expertise and so they can command a higher rate. The same for house managers the more this spreads then house managers will continue To be rising in popularity and rising in rate But right now you can get a really amazing person for a nanny rate and then you have them come for less than nanny time so 

10 

10 hours a week 50 if you have somebody come to your house 15 hours a week, you'll feel like you live  In a hotel in your own house,  you'll, you'll really feel supported.

You really, truly will. Like  I, I have, um, I call it the Ritz list. Um, with my house manager. So we have all of our checklists that we have her follow of like the highest priority stuff. And once the high priority stuff is done, we have her go back and do what we call the Ritz list, which is like finishing touches and niceties.

And so it's like folding the towels in the trifold, like a mother in law would do, you know, and like really just like, and like making the, the blanket on the couch, like look like it's in a magazine and all those little nice touches. And so. Like, high priority is getting all the laundry folded and put away, picking up the dog poop, you know, loading the dishwasher, that kind of stuff.

But once all the high priority stuff is done, then we move on to the Ritz list, which is like the nice touches. And those are the things that give you a feeling of harmony in your own house. Um, which is like why I call it a hero house manager, harmony, empowerment, resourcefulness, optimization. Oh, I love 

that.

So, it's all just like who the, the, the person helps you to feel. They empower you. You empower them to make good choices. They're resourceful. They find solutions right in your own house and you're always optimizing. It's always changing. It's not always like a set thing that like you hire them for this one thing and then you're like.

But what if I don't always need him for that? Fine. Change it. It's cool. Um, you asked about the values. That's a really important part. And that's exactly what I feel like is the difference between just a, a housekeeper. And a house manager or like a nanny and a house manager, and specifically not just any house manager, but a hero house manager is that they are, um, aligned with your values.

And so, um, the way that I help my clients to do that is when you post the job posting ad is you basically have to make it like a sales letter for your family. So instead of, it's like, go back to the Mary Poppins, right? There was the ad that  children wrote and there was the ad that Mr. Banks wrote and Mr.

Banks, his ad was all about like, here's all the things she needs to do. Test, test, task. And the children were like, she must be smart and fairly witty. Like, you know, they have this whole, like they want a certain type of a person, not just somebody that does all these tasks. And so like a cleaning person, they usually just follow a set of tasks, but you're not hiring them for their personality and interacting with you on a regular basis.

And like,  Organizing closets and like really getting into the nitty gritty of your life. They just come in. They follow a list. They're out Um house manager, that's where they're different where it's like you're looking for a certain type of person Um, I encourage people to use strength assessments, you know, personality tests, um, Myers Briggs and Colbier assessments and things like that to get to know the personality type of their house manager so that they can better communicate.

And so you don't, not necessarily like to rule people out, but to better communicate like what is their love language? Is their love language words of affirmation? Make sure you're speaking that to them. Make sure you're appreciating them verbally all the time and leaving them post it notes and stuff like that.

And so, um, using all that kind of stuff to make sure they're a good fit and aligned with you. And, and yeah, and I, the house manager, I recently had to, um, send on her way. Uh, it was, uh, basically a really long trial, um, that I was like, this trial has gone too long. Um, she's just not, she just wasn't aligned with our family.

Like she didn't, um, see eye to eye on a lot of our values. And, and she also was, uh,  greatly embellishing what she was doing around the house and mostly just sitting around on her phone.  So I was like, all right, if you want a job that you sit around on your phone, go work at the mall. Um, this is a job for somebody who, you know, wants to be part of a team and collaborate with us and has the potential to move into places in our company and stuff like that.

And so, um, on the new ad that I posted, I put that we are sober biohackers. Because I realized that was not something I really ever broadcasted before, but it is something that's really important to us. Both my husband and I are sober now. We didn't used to be. Um, and, um, having somebody who comes in and they're, and they're always on substances, always on pills, like that's a big deal for us.

Um, and so, uh, and we're like super big biohackers too. We use a lot of holistic approaches to things. And so, um, if the person's going to be. Babysitting our kids sometimes and helping our kids We want them to see our values as far as how to treat illnesses in our own children um, and so that was something that was important to us also and um, So now our it was it was funny because um when I posted the new ad, um, the three people who responded Really quickly and really with a detailed response Specifically responded because they saw that we were sober biohackers and they were like, 

yes I want to work for a family like that 

And so it really draws the people to you when you broadcast who you are and it can be very polarizing But that's the thing It's like do you want to go back and forth over messages trying to filter people out for like two weeks?

At a time, or do you want the ad to filter people for you? So, it's good to repel people because then it filters them out for you and it saves you time. So, that's what I tell my clients is. Yeah, make it like a sales letter where you're basically telling here's who we are as a family. Have a family mission statement and put that in there.

Say, our family mission statement is this. Because if somebody reads it and they say, who are these people with a family mission statement? What? That's crazy. Then good. It repels them. You don't want them working for you. But if they're like, what? This family has a family mission statement? That's amazing.

That's your person. So it attracts them. Right. 

Right.  That's awesome. So there's so much, like, good information that you have. So how can the audience work with you and learn more about finding their, like, perfect hero house manager? 

Yeah, so I have, uh, like a Done With You program. It's my hero house manager launchpad.

And so I go side by side telling you what to post in your ad. How to interview your candidates, what questions to ask them, how to do background checks. Um, all the information that you, how to do trials, all of that. And so I have my launchpad program and you can get information about that on my website, which is kickass, modern mom.

com. And just to get lots of educational information, just kind of get your wheels spinning around this. You can follow me on Instagram. I make lots of educational content in my reels. Like you mentioned, you've already learned from some of them.  And my handle on Instagram and actually on all the socials is kick ass modern mom on all the socials.

So come in, find me on Instagram. Send me a message. I love it when people send me funny jokes, jokes in the favorite,  send all the memes,  memes and jokes, and I'll totally reply to you. But yeah, if you have any questions, like.  A lot of people just want to know what the comps are for their area. So if anybody wants to send me a DM and you can send me what your zip code is, I'll look up what comps are for your area to see what a house manager might cost in your area.

And then from there, you can kind of start figuring out what your budget is and, um, seeing how to get this to fit in your life. And yeah, it's like, even if you travel a lot or you think, yo, it's just like, now's not a good time. It's like, just get a temporary person because you're going to learn a lot from the process.

And then, you know, when you're ready for a full time person, you'll have all that information, if anything, bring those college kids in and tell them to make all the checklists for you. Um, I do have all the checklists available in my programs, but it's like, just have a really organized person to be like, Hey, let me show you all the stuff I need you to do now.

Please type it up in a checklist. And then now you have it forever more.  

Nice. Amazing. Yeah. And that is like in itself, like the whole DM like of, Oh, check the comps in my area, like. That sounds great because I think that a lot of like, what would stop someone is like, I don't know how much that's going to cost.

And I just don't want to go through the research of it. Like that's a lot of time intensive work, right. To like start researching that. So I love knowing where to look because 

depending on where you live, there's different websites that are better for finding people and.  So, yeah, like I know it's like, I was just helping a client and they were like, I need somebody to just to help.

I'm moving. I need someone to help me like pack up all my stuff for the next month and get it all organized. And, and they're like, I don't think I need a house manager. I just need like a task, grab it person, but they're like 65 an hour. And I was like, yeah, don't go on task. Grab it,  find, find good people elsewhere that can do the exact same stuff.

But yeah, I mean, task grab, it's great for occasional stuff. And sometimes you can then. Find a person on TaskRabbit and then offer them a position outside of it. That then is like a bigger role, but  Yeah, there's so many so many cool ways to go about it But for a lot of people they're like I can't afford it So they put up the wall to be able to opt out of the conversation I encourage everybody do not opt out of the conversation because you actually can't afford it.

You really can  I afforded it whenever I was a broke college kid and  Anybody, any mom can afford it and it's so worth it.  

Yeah, it sounds like it. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Brenda, for coming on the show with me today and talking to the audience about a hero house manager. It sounds amazing. I'm actually going to go look into one now.

Because I'm like, I don't want my, my laundry graveyard.  

Yeah, exactly. It's 

just a graveyard.  

Yep. Get rid of that graveyard.  Awesome. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. This is wonderful. Good to see you. Gabby. 

Good to see you. Bye Okay, so after all that on a scale of one to ten How much do you want a hero house manager because mine's like a 20 Maybe even a 50.

Like, I would love someone to come in and take care of my laundry graveyard, and declutter my garage, and declutter my closets, and list all of the baby things that I need to get rid of. I need someone to come and help me do all the things that I don't want to do here in my house, because I am focusing on podcasting, and And in case you haven't seen, Crossroads Conversations is currently open for enrollment.

Tomorrow, December 5th, is going to be the last day that you can enroll. Um, For the month of December  and make sure you go and snag that. All right. Well,  I really hope that you enjoyed this episode. You got some good nuggets. You went and  evaluated what in your house can be delegated and maybe you can go find that high school kid who can help you, I don't know, mow the lawn or who can help you you.

Put some clothes away or whatever it is that you don't like doing and that's just taking up space  Right. So, all right. Well, I will talk to you next week. Toodles  Thanks again for listening and visit buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee. com Forward slash blissfully bold podcast for another way to support the show And I will also link that in the show notes