The Blissfully Bold Podcast

Ep. 16 - My Journey from Burnout to Boundary Setting: Navigating Work-Life Balance and Mental Health

• Gavie Remaly • Episode 16

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In this episode, Gavie Remaly shares her personal journey of prioritizing self-care and establishing healthy boundaries. After battling depression and managing an overwhelming work schedule, she realized the critical need to address her own well-being. Gavie recounts her experience seeking therapy, navigating the challenges of mental health care, and the profound insights she gained from a six-month program that changed her life. This transformative process and years of practicing boundary setting led her to create *Crossroads Conversations*, a supportive, judgment-free space for others facing similar struggles. Tune in to discover how setting boundaries empowered Gavie to reclaim her life and how she is committed to helping others on their path to empowerment.

Highlights
0:00 Introduction and Welcome
2:41 The Beginning of My Journey
4:06 Struggles with Work-Life Balance
5:46 Seeking Help and Finding Therapy
8:30 The First Session: A Life-Changing Experience
9:56 Crossroads Conversations
13:46 Career Changes and Moving to Houston
17:00 Starting a New Chapter
18:55 Entrepreneurial Journey and Podcast
21:56 Engagement and Future Plans

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Introducing: Crossroads Conversations
If you need a safe space to talk through your anxieties and life transitions, DM me on Instagram about out a free “Crossroads Conversations” 1 hr consultation. Find me at @blissfullyboldpodcast or @gavie.remaly for more details.

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 I just felt  very trapped, um, also very alone. Like when you have  intrusive thoughts that,  you know, they're scary and they're dark, like you don't want to tell people about that, especially the people that you're close to. Like it scares you, like what, what would your close, like your loved ones, what would your loved ones feel  if you told them those things when you don't necessarily know how you feel?

Or just  I don't know.  Intrusive thoughts are scary. That's all I have to say. Hi, my name is Gabby Ramelli and I'm your boundary advocate to lead you to a more peaceful life. Four years ago, I was stuck in a deep depression, a fog covered lake in the dead of night with no idea of where to turn to get back to me or my own needs.

After seeking professional guidance to lead me out of the darkness. Advocating for myself, my boundaries, and my overall wellbeing has become a daily practice of self care. Here on the Blissfully Bold podcast, we'll chat about balancing life's chaos within ourselves and in everyday spaces. Pumping the brakes on people pleasing and understanding our personal needs.

To create the peace and happiness we so crave and deserve. Join me every Wednesday for a new episode and dare to be blissfully bold. Welcome to the Blissfully Bold Podcast.  Hey, friend, you're back. I appreciate you coming back every week. If you are loving the show, please. Go and show support by rating, leaving a review, and sharing with a friend.

And now there is a new way that you can support the show. You can buy me a coffee. It's similar to Patreon in that it helps fund creator efforts to continue bringing value to you. You know, that means releasing this show every week. So it would mean so much to me if you could go and visit my page.  And buy me a coffee visit, buy me a coffee.com/blissfully bold podcast.

Today on the show  we are gonna be talking about.  my story of why I started. I feel like quite a few of you know this story already, but I have had some new followers and new people who are listening to the show. So hello new listener, thank you for showing up and I hope that you get as much value as the OGs around here. 

But let me go ahead and take it back to  I guess my beginning,  um,  my somewhat beginning,  what really threw me into caring about boundaries and caring more about the needs of yourself  as opposed to pleasing other people. And I know that some people struggle with caring for your own needs because sometimes  They may think it's selfish,  but it's not really selfish.

You have to care for yourself first, right? And so, I think my big lesson in that came,  uh, right after I had my daughter.  I had my daughter in 2018,  and  It's probably about 18 months.  So 2019, end of 2019,  like December,  I was feeling really depressed from  working a lot in a really busy industry. Um, and when I say busy, it's like very deadline driven where it's like if they shut down a day, they're actually losing money.

They're not,  like, it's not a good scenario. Um,  so I was working probably 55 to 60 hours a week  and on top of being  a new mom,  I was finding it really hard  to balance  my work life  and I also felt underappreciated in that role.  Uh, which I think a lot of people can relate to, you know, working in a corporate environment and feeling like they're giving their all to the work, to the job, you know, because they take pride in the work that they do or they just really love getting the accolades.

They like doing it for themselves to feel like they have accomplishments. Like I felt all of those things.  When I was working  and so when you feel good like that  It's hard to  take a step back and really think about like, oh, what do I need?  Like I'm showing up and I'm getting,  you know Maybe a pat on the back and maybe I'm not and maybe you're still working towards that pat on the back  That's what kind of makes you forget your needs and leave them at the wayside,  but I digress um  So I was working all these hours. 

My daughter was about 18 months.  Um, I was still nursing at that point, so I still have like, hormone levels, you know, kind of here and there, and  feeling overwhelmed with work.  I just slipped into this really deep sleep.  dark depression, like I had some pretty scary intrusive thoughts  and my husband and I talked and he agreed that I needed to see someone.

I needed to find help  and so I  went out looking for a therapist.  Um,  most, so, my red tape around therapy is that one,  insurances make it difficult to get mental health care, at least the insurance that I had did. Uh, the current insurance that my husband has, like, actually made it pretty easy for my daughter to find, um, therapy, and it was a reasonable co pay weekly, so I've been grateful for that.

But when I was looking for therapy for myself back in 2019, that was not my experience.  And when there was a therapist,  they had a waitlist. Like when there was a therapist within my insurance policy, I guess.  There was a waitlist and I was like, well, I need help right now. Like, I don't want to be on a waitlist. 

And so I just felt  very trapped. Um, also very alone. Like when you have intrusive thoughts that,  you know, they're scary and they're dark, like you don't want to tell people about that, especially the people that you're close to. Like, it scares you. Like, what? What would? Your close, like, your loved ones, what would your loved ones feel  if you told them those things when you don't necessarily know how you feel, or just,  I don't know.

Intrusive thoughts are scary, that's all I have to say. Um,  and so, like, finding someone to talk to about those things, it's, like, someone who would genuinely understand.  And be non judgmental. That's, like, that's what I needed.  And I  had asked in, I think it was a mom group,  and I got  this woman's name several times.

It was a local mom group and  so I looked her up and I reached out to her and she had, I think it was like,  I don't know, she had a free consultation period. I forgot for how long it was, but  I went to that first consultation with her and I bawled  like a baby.  I felt so bad because I. I had never met this person, and I'm just there, like,  bearing out my heart and soul, and  she was so kind, and  I just,  I felt like a weight had been lifted, and  I could trust this person to help me,  and all of that, I'm pretty sure that was like in an hour.

Like one hour, that's all it took. And  I am actually offering something similar called Crossroads Conversations.  Now her, her, uh, I'm gonna get into it.  Her program was different, um, than Crossroads Conversations. Um,  in that, you know, she worked with me for six months, and I'm gonna get into, like, our work for the six months, because it was  so life changing.

But within that one hour of talking to her. I just, I felt, like I said, so seen and,  like, my feelings were valid and just safe, right? And so, with this Crossroads Conversations,  I want to  offer you  that shoulder to cry on, that person that you can confide in without any fear of judgment or any fear that you're in an unsafe space. 

I want to be the person that is going to hold your hand in tough times. You know, maybe sometimes you feel like You can't turn to your friends or your family  because maybe they'll judge you. Maybe they won't understand where you're coming from. That is a totally valid fear because  not all of the people who we are closest to in life and in our families, not all of them are so  understanding,  right?

And you kind of fear that maybe they're quick to judge.  But if you are interested in a one hour free consultation like this woman gave me so long ago,  uh, then DM me. You can get me. With me at Blissfully Bold Podcast on Instagram.  Or you can DM me at Gabby Do reely on Instagram  as well. Uh, just hit me up and let's have a one hour chat.

Alright, so getting back to the show. Um, she and I,  after that one hour consultation that I had with her, she and I worked together for six months.  And  we went through, we started with the, what is it, the wheel of, like, happiness, like, in your life, like, basically where it,  like, breaks down your relationships, your work life, your money situation, your,  uh, social life. 

I forgot what else, but you can find that probably, like, on Google, like, you can probably Google, like, happiness  life chart or something like that. I don't know what it's called exactly. Um, but we went through that and so every week we would meet and  she would  kind of see where I'm at on, like, each, like, what sections of that pie chart I wanted to work on in that moment.

And.  Through her, I learned  that, for me, my needs depended on boundaries. Now, her program wasn't specifically about boundaries, but I feel like that was my major takeaway from her program. And so that is why I'm so passionate now about having people  Basically stand up for themselves, but  in  a way that is respectful. 

Because I think that a lot of people associate boundaries with, like,  maybe they're being disrespectful or, you know, that they're afraid that people won't accept their boundary  that they put up or that they want to put up. And those  fears slide back into people pleasing.  And  As I said in the beginning,  you  having boundaries is not selfish.

You stating your needs for your well being,  that's not selfish.  Going back to my story, I worked with her for six months  and  I ended up transferring departments.  In the company that I was in  and  my work life balance did get better  I will say that much  But I was still in the same industry and I've just come to learn that that  I don't think that I could work in that Industry again, I don't want to say I'll never work in that industry again because I am learning  Like boundaries that I needed to put up  for myself as an employee in corporate America If I ever went back to corporate America  Then I, I know what I want,  and I don't think that I could say that before.

And that's actually one thing that I'm pretty grateful for. Even, like, even in the journey  after, uh, leaving, that oil and gas job. Um,  so anyway,  I changed apartments  and things got better and then  my husband and I were ready to move back to Houston. Like, he's originally from Houston, uh, I had been living in Houston from 2006 to I don't know, I think it was like 2016, so 10 years.

I'd been living in Houston for 10 years  before we moved for my job in oil and gas. And then  I  was ready to move back to Houston, he was ready to move back, so I tried to transfer with that company  and they just didn't have any positions open in Houston, and so I thought, fine, like, that's okay, that just means I'm supposed to move on from here.

And at that point I was four months pregnant, and so I moved to Houston,  we moved to Houston. With me being four months pregnant and I was like, well, no one's gonna hire me like I'm pregnant and Like I'm probably gonna start showing soon  like joke on me  I didn't start showing until I was like seven months pregnant.

By the way, I could have totally Gone and applied for jobs, but  I was scared that no one was gonna hire me if I was pregnant and that  That is just like a whole side conversation about how Shitty corporate America can be sometimes in that Women have to fear that they won't be valued because they're pregnant.

So Yeah, that's just me  Just by my tone, I'm sure you can guess my stance on it.  But moving on.  So we moved to Houston.  I was unemployed  because I was pregnant. And so  I had decided after I had my son, you know, the three, I would give myself three months maternity leave, and I would go back into the workforce.

And so I did. And I landed at this tech company And  I felt like  I had  created this work life balance that I had wanted. So when I was having that time struggling back in 2019 2020, I remember writing in my journal  about what I was looking for and what I was wanting,  that I wanted a work life balance where I could.

Be at work, and I could be home at a decent time to be with my daughter. And  that I wanted to make X amount of money, and then also, I had written, I wanted to be able to start my own business, but I just, that felt impossible to me. And so I just kind of put that on the back burner, and like, or not even on the back burner, I just like, put it in a drawer, locked away the key.

End.  All the other parts, I like, took with me, and so I got this job at this tech company. It was 100 percent remote,  so I worked from home. Yes, my daughter was still in childcare, but I was able to go and pick her up at a very decent time, come home, and actually spend  time in the evening with her,  and  that felt really nice.

And I was at this company for about two years, and this was a company that I was most recently laid off from in June.  And  even though I got laid off,  I don't,  I don't have any animosity towards them. Um,  I just, you know, I, it was something else new that I learned about myself. And.  Honestly, that's kind of what threw me into  this entrepreneurial journey  of  having that vision way back then, in 2019, 2020,  of wanting to be able to do something for myself.

And so that's what this podcast venture has been, um, for me. In addition to wanting to help  you, when you have that block of, like, oh my gosh, I really need to talk about this situation, and I have no one to turn to, I can't talk to anybody, I feel like I'm just so stuck, and I just, I don't know who to talk to, and I don't know what to do.

And again, I want to be that person for you in Crossroads Conversations, so DM me. at Blissfully Bold Podcast on Instagram. Uh, and we can set up a free one hour consultation to talk about, you know, whatever it is that you might be dealing with. Think of me as  your bestie when you're out on a walk and y'all are just chit chatting.

Or if y'all are at a coffee shop. Having, you know, chisme or whatever it is. But you know what, this time the tea is about you and you're not so willing to pour it, right?  And that's okay. You don't have to tell it all to everyone. You just need that one trusted person that you know you can be raw and vulnerable with.

And again, I want to be that person for you. So  yeah, that's my story. I just have learned through my own personal experiences in working, basically, that  we all have needs  that we ignore because we're trying to be the better person or trying to be the person who's enough for  Like, I'm just giving an example as work because that has been my experience.

Like, I have been a workaholic. I have been consumed by the need to do well  at work.  And, um,  I think that everyone has their own version. Like, I've known people where it's been relationships, right? Like, their cycle is shown in relationships, and I think that that's also something I can help identify, is like, what cycle are you in?

Like, how is this playing out into your life? Um, I like to get deep.  I am very much a deep thinker and I often come up with perspectives that people don't think about. So,  yeah, I think that's my strength. Alright guys, I hope that you have taken something from this episode, from my story. If you have questions,  Hit me up on Instagram.

Go and visit every Wednesday, and you'll see the soundbite for this week's episode and go and comment on it. Go and ask me questions. Speaking of questions, every Friday is a Q& A live on Instagram and that is staying up until Mondays and every Monday I'm taking it down and I am archiving it and And if you missed it, then the replay can be found on the premium podcast subscription that is going to be launching by the very end of this month.

And on the show, I'm going to have just like quick, like raw notes from my phone app of just thoughts that come to me during the day.  Because sometimes I react to things. I'm like, Oh, I have an opinion about that. So I,  I record quick notes.  You'll get those. Um, also I will have some off air conversations with some of our guests and when I say off air it's like we finish the regular episode and I leave the mic on and we just chit chat and the conversations have been awesome. 

So good. Like, juicy juicy. I love them. I, I just love like getting that like  kind of raw reaction and emotions and things like that. Like it's just, it's great. And so we'll have those. And then I will have the IG live Q and A for each episode. Those replays also  on the premium podcast. So you don't want to miss out.

So you can hit me up again in my DMs, um, or just look out for the announcement of when the premium podcast subscription is live. It is going to be really great. It is going to be 7 a month, and that's like the introductory rate. I may go up in the future, who knows, but right now, it is 7 a month  for you to get all of that extra content.

Which, you know, is just like the cherry on top of your sundae, right?  That little extra.  But yeah, so I have a lot of things in the pipeline, um, but immediately you can look out for the premium podcast subscription and also DM me for those Crossroads Conversations consultations. Ooh, that's a lot of alliteration.

Anyway, I am rambling, so I will talk to you next week, my friend. Toodles! Thanks again for listening and visit, buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee. com forward slash blissfully bold podcast for another way to support the show. And I will also link that in the show notes. This episode is brought to you by the become a boundary boss starter guide, taking you from fumbling over words, thinking negatively.

and unsure of where to start to the bold boundary boss you know is there. And that will be linked in the show notes, so make sure you go and grab it.